PADS #38

‘Why have you got so many feathers Miss Peterson?’ asked Wyse.

‘It's Karen all right, were not at school,’ said Karen.

Wyse had always found it difficult to address his colleagues on such an informal first name basis. He believed at work a professional dignified barrier should always be maintained. He could hardly be blamed for what people’s surnames were and had always maintained this was how colleagues should be addressed. Despite his best endeavours though, the female colleagues had somehow had engineered it so they were almost exclusively called by their first names, whilst male colleagues were called by their surnames.

This had led to some very uncomfortable mess room conversations, where if you had not known better the distinction between adults and children talking would have been based on what sex you were. Unfortunately thought Wyse, it was all too often the male colleagues who were viewed as children because of this distinction between first name or surnames.

Wyse would have also once argued that the Ambulance Service was definitely not like being at the school he had attended. He had though come to recognise many similar traits with what he had read of the current state of schooling today. Both teachers and ambulance officers were no longer respected by those under their charge, leading to a breakdown in order and discipline on a much broader spectrum, one which threatened to affect the very fabric of society. In fact the only real difference he could see, was that there wasn’t as much sex in the Ambulance Service. The use of proper titles when addressing colleagues, was therefore of paramount importance to maintaining standards.

‘Do, er, carry on Mi...Kar....’ stuttered Wyse, ashamed of himself under the steely gaze of Karen.

            ‘Those gits from South London must have stuck them on me, the place was covered in feathers. The dead man was lying on top of them. I thought it was odd how they kept on congratulating me for always being first on scene, gits they distracted me when they found the dog collar.’

‘The what?’ said Rowlands.

‘You know the white and black thing priests wear round their necks but it was pretty old, they found it in his pocket, I've been working all day with these feathers on my back, looking like a bleedin’ ostrich.’ said Karen removing them from her person.

‘Goose actually.’

‘What!’ fumed Karen.

‘They're goose feathers.’ replied Elms, hastily standing up and taking an involuntary step away from the ping pong table and more importantly Karen.

‘That's disgusting calling Karen a goose who is ripe for plucking,’ Rowlands gleefully added.

‘What!’ shouted both Karen and Elms in unison at Rowlands, who shirked away.

‘Enough.’ demanded Wyse, ‘now Karen please put the cannulas away and explain to us about what happened to Mr.Barker and the feathers.